Saturday, January 16, 2010

New Year Resolution - I Will Try To Love You All

We make resolutions every year or every month or even every week.The resolutions vary from starting the day with a work out in a gym to not to use dirty words in our daily chat with our friends. And we find ourselves following the resolution strictly for few days. And then we return to our normal routine of waking up late, ofcourse citing silly reasons like,oh!i got up late today;am feeling tired today, will go tomorrow for sure; i went to bed late, so let me sleep for few more minutes etc etc.

I used to make resolutions every day :)

Time to talk about my last year resolution. I made a resolution to help others as much as i can and not to make faces at others even if provoked. Alas, i broke my resolution everyday. And should i blame others for having provoked me to loose my temper? Should i find fault at others who made me to turn a blind eye to the needy?

I didn't work yesterday and stayed back at home due to severe headache. And that was a good chance for me to view the Solar Eclipse as well as search for my real self - self realization. I was trying to think about the instances that i was provoked and the instances when i failed to help others. I looked at my mom, a retired government employee, the sole inspiration in my life all these days. She was lying next to me and was reading the newspaper. She is a brave and humble woman. If i have to write about my mom and her bravery, then i will end up writing an interesting book for you all to read. And am very sure that it would leave a lasting impression in everyone's life, whoever reads the book.And am planning to write about her too, provided i get enough time to write.

She was ill-treated almost all her life time and never has she shown the hatred. All she did was to swallow all the insults and did her duties without fail - as a wife as well as a mother. She never looses a chance to help others. Infact she goes out of her way to help the needy persons. Now that she is growing old, i guess she has lost her hearing in one ear or both the ears. I have to raise my voice at times, when i speak to her. That irritates me sometimes. Yesterday night when she woke up, i was watching the TV and my brother was sitting in the drawing room working on the computer. She looked at my brother's empty bed and asked me the whereabouts of my brother. I said, " he is in the drawing room". She didn't hear properly i guess. She asked me again. I repeated the same. She asked me the same question again. I was so irritated that i yelled at her saying,"Please keep quiet and go to sleep mom". She said, "I asked the question because his bed is empty". She said that calmly and went back to sleep.

I have watched my mom repeating one story again and again to my niece who is four and a half years old, every night. My niece will never be tired of hearing the same story every night and so do my mom, repeating it every night. I made a resolution that i am going to be polite to my mom and i should forgive others even when they ill-treat me. I am going to try to emulate my mom. She used to say," Every soul that comes to me, is my responsibility and i need to show the correct path to them to lead a good life". I only pray that almighty gives me all the strength to be as humble as my mom.

In continuation of this, i would like to let all my friends know, present as well as past, to be my friends forever. I am willing to accept those friends to whom i have shut the door of friendship. So please do come to me again and let us to try help each other to lead a better life.

I also request my other friends,who have chosen to be away from me, to forgive me, if i have hurt you by any means. Please do come and join me in the journey of life. Let us try to be friends again and try to not to hurt others. Let us try to forgive others. Let us try to be humble persons.

I would like to quote a writing on one of my friend's wall in facebook:Joseph Ranseth's: "Letting go of our expectations about how things (or other people) should be in our life is the end of suffering". I totally agree with this. Don't you think the same too?

Uma
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