Tuesday, October 25, 2016

How to think positive?

I know you and I have heard elders asking us to think positively. I have always wondered HOW can I think positive when nothing happened in the manner I wanted them to happen.

How can I think positive about my relationship with those who doesn't seem to understand me? How can I change the negative feeling about them?

I have realised that Yoga helps a person to understand one's own self, which in turn helps to understand others as well.I am glad I learned Yoga.

Thanks to Migraines. I learned Yoga to get rid of it and have become a much better person now.

I guess it is because of Yoga, I have learned the 'HOW' to think positive, finally, at the age of 48!

Father has passed away 8months back. Now, at the age of 48, I live with my Mother, two of my siblings, two little nephews, elderly in-laws and my husband. There are many experiences in life that have taught me how to think positively and am going to share a couple of them with you. If that helps you and if you start to think positively then I will feel very happy.

The other day I went to meet the class teacher of my 7year old nephew. There was another parent also waiting for the teacher. Her little daughter, my nephew's classmate was also standing with her.

She said to her daughter,"It is so fortunate and that you are lucky your dad didn't come to sign your report card. You would have got nice thrashes from him for your poor marks." The little girl looked at me with a sad face.

I turned to her mother. She looked at me and said,"She has scored very poor marks in all the subjects."

I said,"You should have taught her well at home. It is your duty to see that she studies well. She is just a little girl."

She said,"Oh! we do. Myself and her dad. She answers all the questions correctly at home. So we knew that she knows all the answers. But she is not writing them on the answer paper."

I said,"Then you have to make her write all the answers on a paper at home. She is good in saying but not so good in writing, which means she needs more training in writing down whatever she knows. So, you have to make her write all the answers. Cultivate the habit of writing on a paper. Beating and scolding are not going to help her. Why would you or your husband beat her when you guys don't even find the reason for her poor marks in the exams?"

I got a very meaningful and thoughtful look from the lady. I know that I have triggered a positive thought on improving her daughter's abilities.

Here is another incident. It has always been a habit in our household to point fingers at others when something goes wrong. I think it is the same in every household. When good happens, everybody feels happy. When bad happens then nobody would like to analyse to find out what went wrong and how to correct it. The first thing that they do is pointing fingers at someone or the other.

 My sister is the one who cooks at home. She is a better cook than me. She kept some liquid mixture near the stove to be poured into another mixture that was boiling on the stove. I wanted to heat my morning coffee. So I kept this aside and replaced my coffee there and switched on the stove. She stood up from the floor and put the curry leaves inside my coffee. Then she reached to the shelf to add some pepper powder into it.

It looked funny to me and I laughed. She was puzzled and asked me,"Why are you laughing?"

I said,"Looks like you are making rasam out of my coffee."

She said,"Why would I? I only threw the curry leaves into the tamarind juice that I kept here."

Then she realised what has happened and looked at me and said,"It was your fault."

I said,"huh?"

She said,"It is you who kept the coffee there where I kept the tamarind juice. Wasn't my fault."

I asked her,"What would you do when you find out whose fault it is?"

She looked at me quietly for a second and said,"Right."

I took the curry leaves out, heated my coffee and walked towards the dining table to drink it.

She shouted from the kitchen,"It has become a habit to point fingers at others instead of finding what should be done to change the scenario quickly. I should have taken the curry leaves immediately. How does your coffee taste?"

Since I don't add sugar to my coffee, it had the taste of curry leaves. But I didn't say that to her else she would feel guilty. I said that it tasted good.

I would really love to read positive experiences that have inspired people. Or the negative experiences that have made a positive effect. Please share your stories with the virtual world. Let us spread positivism around us. Looking forward to reading your experiences.

Luv u all

Saturday, May 14, 2016

A Teacher’s Ownership!

I saw a first-grade teacher peeping from the front gate of my nephew’s school with a little girl tucked between her thighs. When my nephew saw me walking towards the gate, he ran towards me and thrust his bag to me and ran towards his classmate who was walking ahead with his mother. I smiled at my nephew’s former teacher and asked her, “Hello Miss! How are you?”

She said, “I am good. How are you?”

I nodded my head towards the little girl and asked her, “Is she your daughter?”

She replied, “No. She is not. She is my student. I am waiting for her parent to come and pick her up.”

I smiled at her and replied, “Oh, that is so nice of you.”

She smiled and said, “Until one of her parents come to pick her up, she is my child, of course.”

I felt very happy to hear that and said, “I really appreciate your kindness and accountability. Every teacher should think and act like you.”

She said, “Thanks.”

When I bid her bye, I saw my nephew’s teacher watching our conversation standing a little distance away from us.

The next day when I went to pick my second grader, I saw my nephew’s teacher standing inside the school near to the first-grade teacher holding a little kid's hand, obviously waiting for the kid’s parent. I was happy that I could make a person think about accountability and responsibility.

Earlier, I have heard from many parents that the second-grade teacher is not approachable and not available for any discussion.

Though I have never seen her interacting with any parents, I have never hesitated to go after her, after school hours whenever I needed any clarifications about tests and other extra-curricular activities. And I found that she is not bold enough to talk to parents. When a teacher hesitates to talk to the parents, there could be just two reasons. She is either not so confident about her abilities or just don't care for her students. What do you think? 

Luv u all

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Your Army Boyfriend and Your Love

I received a message in Facebook from a girl who read my answer to one of the questions on Quora about marrying an army boyfriend. She asked me to help her to understand the situation and her expectations. I have replied to her based on my life experiences.

This was her question:

I had always desired to marry one and even had a boyfriend but we never lasted long it was because he never loved me. But I still wants to marry one, mam the issue is after my last relationship I broke and found myself as emotionally too weak, we often had fight for not being in conversation much, lack of concern and care from his side, he never made effort to make the relationship work and had attitude of accepting his fault.Afterwards seeing my condition my friends asked me not to look for a man from army asked I.need emotional support and they believe that this kind of behaviour is common for all of them, which made mean wonder should I marry them, r they all so cold, I do understand the problem of their being busy but r they all so cold I know it's little awkward to ask stranger such questions but still if u could help me.

I am giving the screenshots below. I thought I can share this with my readers. It could help someone else who are also in the same kind of situation in their life.

Luv u all

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

3 Easy Steps to Transform Your Body and Mind

I was asked to reply a question by a Quora member.

The question was  How should one motivate oneself for physical transformation when it seems really tough?

I have shared a short para here. You can go here to read my full reply.

DO NOT CARE ABOUT OTHERS - Do not worry about the people who look at you while you walk or jog. When you look at others, chances are more to get demotivated. Concentrate on YOUR body and YOUR mind.
People WILL make fun of you, even if you look good. I have come across guys who laughed at me for jogging early in the morning though I was lean. But I do exercises to keep me fit and feel great. There were comments like," I don't even know why she is running." Another comment," She is wasting her energy." One more comment," She is growing old. Why should she continue jogging even now."  And then this happened.
Read More

Luv u all

Saturday, April 16, 2016

Is This Why your husband beat you?

One of my best friends live away from her husband. The only complaint that she has against him is that he beats her. He beats her kids. He is a very angry and a very short tempered person. Otherwise he is a very nice man. All he want from her and her kids is to listen to his words, either they like it or not.

I know most of the women out there face this problem with their partners. Sometimes it would be the other partner. The wife would be determined to see that her words are heard and listened to. I guess it depends on the dominating personality.

I had an opportunity to stay with this friend for a week. I observed that she didn't bother to recycle the left over foods that laid in the fridge for two days. I asked her about this.

She said,"Oh, every morning I only think about giving fresh foods to my kids. So I keep forgetting about it."

I asked her,"What would you do now that the left overs are rotten."

She replied,"I will dispose it."

I asked her,"Does your husband approve of  wasting food now and then?"

She looked at me quietly for a full minute. I said,"Maybe this is one of the many reasons he beat you. You shouldn't waste food like this. Food is money. Nobody likes wasting food."

She said,"It is not that I do it in purpose. I want my kids to eat fresh food everyday."

I said,"You will have to plan the meals accordingly, so that you will have no (very little) left overs."

I took one look at the shelves in the kitchen. She said,"My husband used to arrange them neatly for me once in a while. But I don't follow the same arrangement. And I ask him once in three months to do the arrangement again." She paused thoughtfully.

I said,"And."

She repled,"He used to yell at me to not to make him work in the kitchen just because I find it difficult to work."

She continued,"I think I understand SOME of the reasons for his beatings. I should learn to be a better wife to him before expecting him to be a better husband to me."

Luv u all